Snapshot 3: My Faith

This post is going to be on the longer side because the topic is really important to who I am.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galations 2:20

The actual moment when I asked Jesus to forgive my sins and live in my heart is rather elusive. I believe it was while I was a Cubbie, as I was an active participant in A.W.A.N.A.S. from a young age. Growing up in a Christian home, I knew little else about how other people might chose to live their life. In elementary school, I was well behaved, basing my views on the Sunday school answer. As I entered junior high and became active in our youth group, I began to realize being a Christian meant more than living a moral life; it took time and effort to cultivate a relationship with the Lord.

I started to build upon the foundation that was set in place by my parents. My good intentions were not strong enough to keep my priorities straight. Youth group became more about fellowship that spiritual growth and my time spent with God could hardly be called consistent. This is not all to say that I was not a believer, trying to do what would please God—I was. However, I had yet to turn from the confines of my parent’s faith and hide myself in the love of a personal savior.

This did not begin to happen until the summer before my senior year in high school. My first two years were a little rocky, probably just pebbly compared to the average teen, but it was still evident that my priorities were not in order. During my junior year, I was involved in the pep club and took a rigorous set of classes. Having little time for much else, my church attendance waned as well. By the time June rolled around, I was burnt out, exhausted, and depleted.

That summer marked the beginning of a new stage in my walk with God. He recognized that I was broken and in need of refining. While on vacation, God spoke to me about the issue of modesty. I never thought I had a problem with modesty, but God revealed that it was as much an inward attitude as it was an outward display. As I prayed with God about helping me develop an attitude of modesty, I realized that this was what having an active relationship with God was all about—being in an intimate friendship with Jesus Christ, allowing Him to access the innermost corners of my heart, and surrendering every aspect of my life to His care. I was refreshed and excited about experiencing God’s personalized care for my life, even though He was showing me areas that I needed to work on.

I had gotten to the point where I wanted to own my faith and see it grow. College has tested my commitment to live a life wholly devoted to Him. I had to make active choices in order to get connected in the Christian community on my campus. Little things like going to the first women’s ministry meeting, sitting alone in Worship Jam, and finding other believers to fellowship with were a stretch for my faith and personality. It is only God’s power that enabled me to take those first steps to keep my relationship growing. I am constantly learning about accepting grace as I try to daily surrender my plans, dreams, and attitude to God. This summer i've been especially working on having a trusting heart full of peace about the path God has laid out for me during the upcoming year abroad.